Loving your Inner Child
A major download came to me yesterday as I was taking a shower. I saw clearly what has been transpiring for the last several months and especially in the last few weeks. Tears pouring down my face I recognized it all with such precision.
My little girl feels safe.
For anyone who has dealt with trauma this is huge. Epic really. That inner child tends to sit in a corner until you can make the playing field of your inner and outer life safe enough for her to rejoice in pure loving consciousness.
On my journey into becoming the highest version of myself, I've made choices that weren't safe for her. I repeated patterns of behaviors with men that kept triggering the initial trauma. I am in complete and thorough understanding as to the emotional and physiological whys of these choices but nonetheless she was suffering. I had no idea until last year when I was forced to take a deep look at this intimate dynamic between my outer world and the inner world of my little girl.
What I discovered was illuminating. I had to go back into the next level of self-love transformation and constructing a course of stronger limits and boundaries. I finally began to slam shut. not just close, doors of toxic, destructive and undesirable beings in my space.
I nourished myself into a higher level of awakened consciousness, preserved my feminine essence/power through celibacy and cleared energetic and emotional patterns that were kept alive by old subconscious thought patterns. I elevated myself.
As I came into my own reckoning I discovered the beauty of sovereignty and for the first time in my life I was in true joyful company of myself. So much so that my friends knew: my alone weekends weren't to be interrupted. Radical shifts in how I viewed the world, my place in it and my entire "knowing" of relationships shattered and broke free of entrapment. Beautiful.
All of this laid the foundation and platform for my little girl to feel safer. To start bubbling through with inner excitement and playful joy. Step by step she was coming into being and the light that everyone was beginning to see was coming from her, inside my cultivated soul and spirit.
This was the entry way for even more beauty. About a month ago my little girl came out to play with someone in the most pristine and glorious way. When I remember that day I immediately feel the ease and freedom of my body releasing old story after old story. It was lovely.
The day after my birthday I was gifted a day of perpetual delight. Once again the platform for safety was constructed and the company of another in their own protective and grounded stance, lovingly opened the gilded glory to my peaceful resurrection. My entire being vibrated in a new and unusual way. It was not the rush of a joy/love high but a steady pacing across my heart and grounding calmness in my pelvic/root chakra floor.
The allowing to receive this joy and care is fascinating to witness. My inner child feels safe after nearly a lifetime of being in flight or fight mode. Her excitement has awakened all of my senses to the glory of the universe. My intuition has been heightened as never before and my senses are alarmingly awakened. Every tree and flower is pulsating in unbelievable beauty and I hear the most subtle of sounds. My path has been paved and I trust it all as it fluidly unfolds.
I no longer have to try or strive or do anything. All I have to do is be me and show up
And that is more than enough....