Why I Want My Cowboy


A few weeks back I had the surprise pleasure of sharing a conversation with a man about the dynamics of the masculine and feminine, new concepts to me. We discussed the masculine and feminine energy and why it is so vital in relationships. He went on to say that the American Cowboy was a dying breed. I concurred and went on to explain the emasculation of our men and the rise of the alpha female, throwing off the roles we have as romantic and sexual partners.

I got it when he explained the Cowboy. I was having this very same conversation with a friend a few months back about how I wasn't really interested (excuse the generalization here ) in European men. I found them to be, from what I saw and experienced, quite feminine. They didn't have the un-manicured outdoors feel of an American boy nor the ability to go into the deep wild with their rugged builds to fend for themselves. My ex's mom was still ironing his socks and underwear every time we visited Spain and the men were coddled and wooed over by their mothers well into their adult-hood. My idea of the Cowboy says strength, but not brute force, the ability to protect and provide for his woman. To me the Cowboy has that raw, primal sexuality that is understated, never obvious, while being on purpose in life with deep intention and focus. He has the feel of a man who leaves the front door to do his stuff, rally the cattle while engaging his entire body, and coming home with dirt on his boots, sweat on his body and the capacity to shift into his masculine sensuality with his female counterpart.

Fantasy perhaps but nonetheless I want my Cowboy. I want a man's man. I want him rugged and rough but with the timing to understand when to be intimate and tender. My version of the Cowboy makes space for the feminine divine in his lover, applauds and honors it, but still takes charge when necessary and with the cues of his lover. Ultimately, to me, it's about protection. The Cowboy has the energy of a man who fights for his woman and protects her no matter what. He has her back and is always watching out for her best interests. I can't ever imagine being in a relationship without feeling protected and watched after. The whole, "baby I got your back"? Spot on.

When a man can come into his masculine role without the arrogance of a fool and owns it while still keeping that sensitive spot for his woman it allows her to step into her role as a sensual, womanly creature. It's about the Ying and Yang, the duality of the sexes. I don't think it is so much gender roles but rather the focuson the essence of each of the sexes. Innately we operate differently in the bedroom and out of it. Our body and spoken languages are different and how we seduce is perfectly in tune with our sexuality. The chase, as most of us know, is as important as the final catch. My desires crave the Cowboy to offer his good swagger to go after me in his great masculine gear to let me know that I am wanted and that he will do what he needs to catch me. Nothing turns me on more than being claimed: You are mine! In the course of this primal game I am given permission to bring forth the full beauty of my sensuality and play with it to entice and titillate my Cowboy. To me this is the most delicious part of the emotional foreplay and one I have learned to curate quite well.

The conversation will continue....